all good things come to an end

This week started off fantastic and continued to get better until it took a huge down fall yesterday. Whatever, I guess.

I really don't know what to say or do.

but it hurt worse this time.

eventually all good things come to an end.

all the good things in my life...tend to end pretty quickly.

I' ve gotta babysit tomorrow through the rest of the weekend...

this should be fun.

ha.

the semester is over.

i'm gonna miss ms. get dressed.

is this really happening?

I feel like a jerk.

I probably am.

I'm so confused.

I must say...I love my sister.

"Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." -1 Corinthians 15:58

You're about to make me lose what i've been working my whole life to maintain.

i promise not to miss you

This weekend started off pretty good. Friday night I went to mellow mushroom with Lydia and Matt. After mellow mushroom we drove around Columbia and went to the state house. It made me realize how much I miss the way things used to be, and I'm so happy things are back to normal.

Saturday I woke up at 6:45 to take the ACT. JOY. After that I came home and took a nap. Then I went to Matthew's 17th birthday party. That was.....interesting.

Sunday consisted of church, a nap, and then more church.

I realized something this weekend. We live in a world full of selfish people. Myself included. All we want is to please ourselves and we don't care about anybody else. I wish everyone would quit being so centered around themselves and maybe care about someone else every once in a while.

day one.

one confession.

when i leave for college....i'm done with you.

hm.

Today has been by far the best day I've had this week. I'm so glad it's friday. I need a break from school. A long one. Stress is slowly eating me alive. College stuff needs to get over with...and senior concept needs to be over with as well. Five more days of school before Christmas break.

I can do this.

There is a lot on my mind...but you probably don't want to hear it.

my life is boring.

day two.

two smileys that describe me.

1. ;)

2. :)

...how dumb.

"It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice."

just quit

I realized something today. I'm sick of seeing people all over each other all the time. CHILL OUT. The last way I want to start my morning is by watching you suck face in the hallway. Sorry, but the last time I checked this wasn't middle school. Grow up. Suck face at home...where I don't have to watch it.

Today started off bad. Today continues to get worse. Mrs. Nobrega needs to chill. If I was late yesterday..and the day before that...and the day before that...you should expect me to be late today. Yelling is gay and it hurts peoples feelings. Find a nicer way to get your point across. I won't be late tomorrow. Happy?

day three.

three turn ons.

1. Sweet.

2. Smells good.

3. Gives good hugs.

btw, I give up on you. For real this time. 

"We say we waste time, but that is impossible. We waste ourselves."

get some

Today was for the most part pretty good. I failed a french test first block..oh well.

Today is Wednesday...you know what that means!?

church tonight :)

day four.

four turn offs.

1. Jacked up teeth...haha.

2. Stink.

3. Overly cocky.
4. Hairy

One confession:

I hate cleaning out the dishwasher.

 "Don't tell God how big your problems are...tell your problems how big your God is."

i'm beginning to realize what i've been missing

I forgot to do this yesterday so I guess I'll give you a recap of the past two days. Yesterday school was pretty awful. I realized how much work I have to do before Christmas break combined with the fact that we aren't taking exams until we come back. I find this extremely stupid. I love having a long break so I can forget everything I've learned right before the test. Senior concept is almost over. Hints the word almost. I've gotta do the speech next week...speeches scare me.

A lot.

Last night was great. Matt and Lydia came over so we could all practice our speeches. We ordered four pizzas, two things of bread sticks, and a two liter dr. pepper. I wanted to throw up I ate so much. It has been a little over a year and a half since we all last hung out together. I've always missed the three of us, but last night made me miss the past even more. I miss being the inseparable three. Something happened last night that i've been waiting for for a little over a year and a half.

Forgive and forget.

You don't realize how much you're gonna miss something or someone...until it's not there.

day five.
five people that mean a lot to me in no specific order.

1. ashlyn leigh boyd
2. matthew ryan wiesen
3. jennifer elaine walling
4. lydia adell royals
5. adam preston catoe

"Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you.. not because they are nice, but because you are."

Today is sunday. I started the day off with some Jesus time. It doesn't get much better than that. I got to see Matt's dad, Kurt, this morning....It made my week. Now i'm home to spend the rest of the day working on senior concept..which is due tomorrow.

holy crap.

day six.

six things i wish i'd never done.

1. I wish i never slacked off my junior year.

2. I wish i never met you.

3. I wish i would of told someone.

4. I wish i never let you down.

5. I wish i never held what i really felt inside.

6. I wish i never fell for your lies.  

One confession

I wanna be someone someday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04wLNGk8xxg



out with the old, in with the new

Yesterday was good. I got to sleep in a little and then head to csu with a couple of my good friends. I've pretty much made up my mind that this is the school for me but there is always that chance it could change. The future scares me, a lot. One thing I do know for sure is that i'm so ready to go to college. To start over. To meet new people. New friends. New scene.

New everything.

day seven.

seven things that cross my mind a lot.

1. I have to pee.

2. Certain people.

3. Text message.

4. College.

5. Shoot, thats due tomorrow.

6. Whatever.

7. Mom, please be quiet.

One confession

You just proved that I was right.

things change

Today was alright. It started off a little rough because ashhole wanted to be a jerk, but matt made it a little better  in the car on the way to school. So thanks m@tthewie$en. First block was boring, as usual. Some girl used my phone...and texted weird things to people....I need to learn how to say no. Second block was fun, as usual. I love ms. gedris's class. Band....well, we won't go there. 

Tomorrow should be great...i'm going to CSU! 

with hayley, matt, and jeremy. :)

day eight.

eight ways to win my heart.

1. CARE.

2. Love the Lord.

3. Be sweet.

4. Be able to listen...even if you don't care.

5. Not pressure me into things you know I don't do.

6. Be trustworthy...

7. Respect me.

8. Make me laugh. 

btw, I love Hayley Elliott. <3

One confession

i refuse to stoop down to your level.

if you only knew the truth

Today was alright, I guess. I need a break from school...already.

day nine. 

1. I'm late to everything, even things I really care about.

2. I hate people that drive under the speed limit.

3. I'm in love.....with Jesus Christ.

4. I have the best friends a girl could ever ask for.

5. I speak sarcasm better than I speak english.

6. I tend to care...way too much.

7. Pizza rolls, pop tarts, and mac and cheese sum up my diet.

8. I was born butt naked.

9. I can't wait to go to college. legit.

one confession:

i'm done pretending i'm over it because i'm not.

if i knew, i'd tell you

Why not?.....ten day challenge.

day ten.

1. I miss having classes with you. I miss hanging out with you. I miss picking on you. I miss you picking on me. I miss trips to moes. I miss stealing your homework. I miss football games in the cold. I miss seeing you everyday. I miss you.

2. I thought you were different but I was so wrong. You lied to me, I lied to you. We are both liars. The sad thing is we both trusted each other. Whats so weird is the fact that we still trust each other with most everything. I'm sorry for hurting you..I never wanted to. I just didn't know how to say what I felt  because I was afraid it would hurt you. Turns out not saying it...only hurt you more. 

3.  Please go away....far far away. And never come back. ever.

4. It took eighteen years for me to finally become friends with you. It took me eighteen years to realize I needed you. It took me eighteen years to actually realize how much I love you. You are my bestfriend...and the coolest sister ever.

5. I don't know where to start with this one. When you think about it...I really haven't known you that long yet you've become someone I feel as if I've known my whole life.You care. You listen. I can be my complete self around you and tell you anything without you judging me. We talk about the weirdest stuff, i mean WEIRD. You hurt me but it doesn't matter because whether you believe it or not you're still pretty great. I miss you more than you can imagine.

6. You and I have a bond like no other. You understand everything i've been through. We've kinda been through it together. You always know the right thing to say....and I know I can count on you with anything. I love you.

7. If I was to type what I really felt about you...i'd be typing for years. You and I are like the polar opposites yet we've be inseparable for six years and I plan on it being that way for the rest of our lives. One thing I know for sure is I couldn't live without you. I refuse to let college separate us.I love you. I love you. and yes, I know you know this. Btw, you're going to make the best journalism teacher ever. ping pong and chicken nuggets.

8. You make me laugh constantly with your insults. We always have the best times when we are together. I miss the way things were in the past. You know everything about me...and yet you've never once judged me. You're the only guy I fully trust. I love you.

9. We fight....a lot.......over nothing. However you're one of the only people that understands me. You put up with my crap on  a day to day basis and that takes skill. You don't deserve a lot of the things that you go through but know i'll always be here, even when i'm at college. I'll drive back in a heart beat. I don't know what I'm going to do not being able to see you everyday. Please never change...I love you to the moon and back.

10. I'll never be good enough to make you happy. I try so hard to make you proud yet I always seem to fall short. 

one confession:

i need to learn how to say no. 

it's times like these i thank God i'm alive.

So, it has been a while but considering I haven't been in the country...you're gonna have to cut me some slack.

For all of you that didn't know, I spent my Thanksgiving in the dominican republic with the people I babysit for...they've pretty much become my second family considering they take me everywhere with them and sometimes I spend more time at their house than I spend at my own. They love me....a lot. I left for the dominican republic exactly a week ago today. I got back into the united states late last night after quite an interesting week.

To start off with, the drinking age in the dominican republic is 18. I'm 18 and I drank A LOT....of sprite....but chose not to drink any alcohol. Any other 18 year old would of had a field day, but not this kid. I feel as if I have a role model image to uphold....drinking somewhat destroys this image regardless if it's legal or not. I figure if I can reject drinks all week...where they are free and it's legal to drink as much as I want...I can reject them in college easily.

Today should be a good one...at least i'm hoping. I'm currently helping my parents move stuff from my grandmother's house and then I should be home to get ready. I get to see Jennifer and Adam..finally! :)

I could go on and on for days...but i've gotta get back to work.

I'll leave you with this...

"To have self-control is knowing you can, but deciding you won't."

 

One Confession:

i'm stuck in a never ending battle.

 

 

yeahh

I've been babysitting all weekend.

moral of the story is...

don't have kids.

the end.

i need a title

So I told myself I was going to try to keep up with this thing....but I've kinda failed.This week has been somewhat of a roller coaster with the stresses of school (senior concept), college, people, and parents. 

FINALLY the senior concept paper is over. Although the whole project isn't over, a lot of stress is gone now that the research paper part is over with. I feel much better now. 

Today I sent in my final college application. I must say it is also a relief to have all of them submitted. AND my mother can no longer be on my butt about submitting them. Score! I've already received two acceptance letters from both Charleston Southern University and Anderson University. I should know whether I've been accepted into the other two in December....and then I can finally make the decision of which one I want to attend.  

People are mean. I don't understand why it is necessary to be mean all the time....would it kill people to be kind every once in a while?

My parents really stress me out. They expect so much from me and sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming. They need to learn how to chill.

One confession:

It's time for a change.

welcome to reality

Today really wasn't that great. My dad woke me up at four forty-five in the morning to make me get up and help look for his keys....he acted like I knew where they were. Heck if I know what he did with his keys, and why the heck would I even care...it was four forty-five in the morning. My car is broke...like legit broke and won't be fixed until sometime next week. I'm in a slight state of depression because of this. 

I NEED MY CAR. 

One Confession

Have you ever wanted something you know you'll never get? 

I have this problem, and it sucks. 

legit.

no school?

No car + no food = boring day.

enough said.

one confession

I regret trusting people.

you can't always get what you want

So I kinda forgot about this thing until humpty dumpty reminded me about it....so here goes a recap of my life since October 25.

My week was kinda long, which is really nothing out of the ordinary. School is stressing me out big time, but whats new? Marching band is finally over...except for football games which means I actually get my social life back. It's nice to actually have a little bit of free time to do something other than blow my dern horn.

so this brings me to friday night...

I went to the football in which we beat South Florence...I've kinda got mixed emotions on this win. Because we won, it means there is a great possibility we may have yet another home football game...which means I might have to march....AGAIN. Depressing, I know. But it's all good, I guess. After the game I went to a lock in at my  church.

saturday

Saturday marked my 6,570th day of life aka 18 years. I went to tour Presbyterian College that morning with my mother. I wasn't toooooo excited about going, but it really wasn't as bad as I thought. The people there were really nice and seemed to genuinely care about my plans for the future. I might actually go to college there. After that I came home and went to the AAAA State Championships for marching band. White Knoll won. :))))))))

After that jennifer and adam came over....and brought me cupcakes. They love me. Jennifer spent the night, which is always an adventure. 

sunday

We all got up and went to church. The usual for sunday. After church Jennifer came over again and we watched a movie..aka jennifer took a nap. :) Then we went back to church for youth group and then came home.

Finally, monday

Today wasn't the best. Ashhole started my day off bad by yelling at me and it was all down hill from there. Matt, Hayley, and I all had a nice trip planned for tomorrow, but considering the fact that I have no luck, the plans crumbled to the ground. 

one confession,

i miss someone. 

this can't last forever.

So I had a pretty great weekend, I must admit...

Friday...!

I got accepted into Charleston Southern University, it made my day. Then I went to scream acres with Lydia and Jonathan. That was......interesting. Jonathan has a girl scream and Lydia hit one of the poor guys trying to scare us. After that I came home and watched like three episodes of House, it doesn't get much better than that!

Saturday...!

I had the great pleasure of getting up at seven in the morning on a Saturday. Then I went to marching band practice at eight thirty where I marched in the freezing cold all while trying to stay awake. After that we packed the buses and traveled alllllllllllll the way to Boiling Springs for upperstate. We preformed at three forty-five and then waited for the awards. Being a senior, this was my last competition in marching band....ever. As much as I've hated marching band, it's weird knowing it's actually over. Our goal was to make the upperstate finals meaning we had to get at least seventh place. We got twelfth therefore our journey came to an end. In a way, I'm so happy it's finally over. It was a long ride back to Lugoff, but on the bright side I got to ride with Mark and Lauren! :)

After that I picked Jennifer up from Foodlion and she spent the night. We had a scary movie marathon.....until like four in the morning. It was....interesting to say the least.

Sunday...!  

Considering I stayed up so late the night before....I kinda skipped church. After we all got up and got ready I went out to lunch with Jennifer, Matthew, and Ashhole. After that we came back to the house and watched yet another scary movie....of Jennifer's choice, of course. Then we went to youth, played a little bit of ultimate football in which my team dominated and had bible study which was amazing as usual. After youth I crashed Lydia's house to make Ms. Gedris aka Ms. "get dressed" cupcakes and a card for her birthday! She loves us to death. 

this brings us to today...!

So far today has been pretty good. I'm currently in french and we aren't doing anything...which is always a bonus! Next block I get to go to Ms. "get dressed's" class and give her the cupcakes and her card. I'm excited!

Happy Birthday Ms. Gedris! 

life gets a little easier

My day was good...until I had a 4 1/2 hour marching band practice. Tomorrow is the last competition and honestly, I can't wait for it to be over.

.....oh........

I got accepted into Charleston Southern University. 

:)

forget happiness, find joy

Doing blogs seems to be the new "thing" so I thought I'd give it a try. Here goes nothing.

 I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I've realized that I'm caught up in my past. At first I thought I was the only one that had this problem, but I've quickly realized I'm not alone in this world. So many people are stuck in the past that they can't move on with the future, myself included.

 Things change, people change, thats life.

If you never let go of the people and things in your past, you will never be able to move on. The excuse "well, I just can't forget about it" is often used, but in all reality it's a lie. You've got to want to forget to be able to actually forget. 

We strive so hard to find happiness because we think that if we could just find a way to be happy, everything would fall into place. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but this void will never be filled. My youth pastor once told me, "happiness is only temporary, but joy is forever."  

Forget happiness, find joy.

"So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." -John 16:22